What I do to breastfeed both of my kids, ages 1 and 3, on demand to this day + Q&A
Disclaimer: This post is published with the purpose of sharing my own experience with tandem breastfeeding, as well as information I have gathered for my own journey with doctors, doulas and breastfeeding consultants. These informations should not be used as medical or physological advice. This post may contain affiliate links, which means that if you purchase an item from these links I may earn a small comission at no extra cost to you. As always, all opinions are honest and my own.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the beautiful images we see on Instagram of women happily nursing their kids. However, tandem breastfeeding is so much more than just a cute posed picture.
Breastfeeding alone is exhausting, physically and emotionally, and requires a lot of learning for both momma and baby. And it’s time we start talking about the hardships of it.
Why I decided to do tandem breastfeeding with my children
I have always been a firm believer in breastfeeding. And that was, too, one of my main fears when I became pregnant with my first child.
I grew up watching women nurse their babies and it was never taboo for me. And luckily, when I got married, I was inserted into a big family with many amazing mothers who also breastfed their kids.
It was a no-brainer for me. I wanted to follow that path.
But would I be able to? And what if I wasn’t… how would I feel?
Thankfully, I have been blessed with a happy breastfeeding journey thus far. Which is why it was “easy” for me to go through with continuing nursing both of my kids once my son was born.
Tandem Nursing is no walk in the park. Here’s why:
- Your body burns, generally, 450 to 500 calories daily to produce breastmilk. When the demand is higher, which is the case for tandem nursing, your body uses up roughly 1,000 calories every day.
- Juggling both kids is a skill to be learned. Imagine this: your toddler demands milk, but the baby is crying hungry. You can either breastfeed one while the other cries, or maneuver both on each side. Either way you choose, it might take some time to learnwhat works best for you.
- The exhaustion is even worse. While your baby will most likely continue to wake you up multiple times at night for nusing, you will still need to be up and running throughout the day. Additionaly, which was my case, it may set your toddler backwards in wanting to breastfeed at night like the sibling.
- You might become increasingly thirsty, hungry and tired. So it’s important to remember to take care of yourself during this time.
Things I heard about my decision and why it was not helpful at all:
You will not believe the horrendous “opinions” I had to listen to when pregnant for the second time because of the fact that I was still nursing my then-10-month-old.
“If you continue breastfeeding, you will end up having a miscarriage or premature birth”.
NOT. TRUE.
After much research with my own doctor, my midwife, many different doulas, and breastfeeding consultants, I found that wasn’t the case for most mothers.
According to my OBGYN, if you have a healthy pregnancy, you can continue breastfeeding.
Yes, breastfeeding releases oxytocin, which is one of the hormones that is also released during birth to stimulate contractions.
However, our body is absolutely amazing. Oxytocin will only cause uterine contractions along with other hormones (like prostaglandins) during active labor. The LLLI page describes it as if the uterus was “deaf” to oxytocin throughout the pregnancy, until labor.
Carol Moraes, a doula and breastfeeding consultant, describes it best: if you have the green light to have sex during pregnancy, there is no reason why you can’t breastfeed due to the liberation of oxytocin, since having an orgasm will release the same hormone.
“You will make your daughter suffer more after baby comes, because you won’t be able to breastfeed both of them together”.
Is there anything worse to hear?
When a woman is pregnant, she is in one of the most vulnerable stages of her life. Tie that with also taking care of another young child, and you have a mom struggling to even stay up during the day.
Not only that comment was not true, but it was also cruel. The simple implication that I, as a mother, was doing something to deliberately cause pain to my daughter, was just plain terrible.
“Why do you continue breastfeeding? At this point, there is no nutritional value. Your milk is basically water”.
Another classic, incorrect comment people love to make. Again, not true at all.
First of all, your milk never “turns into just water”. Your milk is never “weak”.
Breastmilk is composed of water, carbohydrates, lipids (fats), and proteins.
During pregnancy, the composition, as in the amounts, changes. Protein increases, while fats decrease.
Generally, between the 4th and 8th week of pregnancy (varies per woman to earlier or later), Colostrum starts taking place.
“Your older child will take up all the colostrum that should be for your baby”.
What does that even mean?
Colostrum starts being produced early-to-mid pregnancy and continues until after birth. Your older child cannot use it up.
If you are breastfeeding through pregnancy, the colostrum your older child is getting is amazing, full of nutrients and antibodies. Once your newborn makes an appearance, he or she will still get plenty of colostrum during the first few days of life.
TANDEM BREASTFEEDING Q&A
Q.: Will I have a miscarriage or premature labor if I breastfeed through pregnancy?
No. If you have a healthy pregnancy, with no underlying issues or risks, breastfeeding is safe during pregnancy.
Q.: Oxytocin causes uterine contractions during labor, as well it is released during breastfeeding. Won’t it cause my uterus to contract, then?
It won’t. Oxytocin helps with uterine contractions once your body is in active labor. Until then, your uterus is “deaf” to the signals of this hormone.
Q.: Will my older child take up all of the colostrum that should go for my newborn?
They won’t. Your body continues producing colostrum until days after birth, and your newborn will get plenty of it in the first few days of life.
Q.: Does my breastmilk become “weak” and non-nutritional during pregnancy?
On the contrary! Your milk composition does change, as well as colostrum starts being produced at one point during pregnancy. It continues to be nutrient-rich always.
I truly hope this helps you make an informed decision on what you want to go through the path of tandem breastfeeding.
Information is gold!
Do your research, turn deaf to the critics and choose what is best for your family.
After all… that is always the goal!
Sources and resources:
https://www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au/breastfeeding-while-pregnant
https://www.verywellfamily.com/whats-in-breast-milk-4047820
www.llli.org/breastfeeding-during-pregnancy-and-tandem-nursing-is-it-safe/